So it is 10:45pm and my whole family is in bed right now, yes even Daryl. He has to be at work tomorrow at 7:00am so he headed to bed pretty early tonight. I am sitting here on the couch enjoying a moment of peace and quiet, blogging and watching Oprah on UPN. As good as it feels to be sitting here doing nothing, I find myself thinking about all the things I should be doing. There is laundry in the dryer that needs to be folded, the dishwasher needs to be started, there are dishes that need to be washed by hand, the kitchen floor needs to be mopped, the kids clothes need to be put away (from doing laundry yesterday), the family room and every other room in our house needs to be dusted and this is just stuff that needs to be done on one floor in our house and there are 2 more floors.
Then I start to think about all the stuff I need to do for work. I don't even know where to begin with that, besides the fact that I have case notes to finish from last month. I HATE case notes!!!! I would rather do just about anything else in this world but do case notes. I just need to employ Becky's old technique for doing case notes. I really need to find a job where case notes are not needed, but unfortunately in my field they are part of the territory. If just someone would have told me this in college, I may have changed my major. Okay maybe not, but I still think I should have been warned.
There just does not seem to be enough time in the day to be the person I want to be. I want to be a great mom, great wife, great friend, great employee, great daughter/granddaughter/niece/sister and most of all I want to be a great leader for the cause of Christ. I just don't feel like I ever have the time to be those things. There are times that I get so overwhelmed with what I have to do that I don't even know where to start. I very quickly find myself thinking, if only I did not have to work, if only there wasn't so much to do to take care of a house, if only this, if only that. It is then that I just have to step back and know that I am only one person and can only do so much. This is much easier said then done though. I know that God is in control and that He will sustain me and with His help things will get better, but at times I think the rest of my life may feel this way. The things that get me through are hearing Allison tell me that she loves me all the way to Heaven, having Rachel tell me that I am the best mommy in the world, watching Tyler take his first steps, and seeing my awesome husband walk through the door. It is then that I know that I can do it all over again tomorrow.
So with that said, it is off to bed I go to get ready for another day. Though I think I will go start the dishwasher before I head to bed, one less thing to do tomorrow!
